Steve Sims Bluefishing Playbook The Psychology Of Not Being Misunderstood and Anti-branding

Steve Sims

[00:00:00] Lance Wantenaar: Welcome to the thinking like a genius podcast, I’ve got a bit of a firecracker on my hands today. It’s the inevitable Mrs. Steve Sims. I came across Mr. Sims through the podcast platform matchmaker. But the reason why I said yes to having Steve on for a podcast interview is

[00:00:40] specifically, because I read through his book, the blue fishing playbook. Now, Steve, I’m a big fan. I’m thinking differently. That’s my raison d’être is why I got into all the psychology side of things and all the other bunch of pieces that I get involved in. So let’s start off with, first of all, a bit of an introduction to who you are, what you do, and then we’ll start diving into some of the topics there that were in your book.

[00:01:03] And also, why did you write blue fishing?

[00:01:06] Steve Sims: Wow. Quite a lot there. So let’s break it down and try and keep it simple. born in bed in, based in east London left school at the age of 15, became a brick layer because my dad was a brick layer and like all entrepreneurs. I couldn’t believe that this was my life.

[00:01:22] I was aggravated. I was propelled to try different things of which I did. I discovered a multiple of jobs. That I was ill qualified or inadequate to do in my journey to try and find what I was good at. miss out the middle bit, fast forward 30 years, I’m now living here in Los Angeles. along the way, I needed an excuse to speak to rich people.

[00:01:48] So I founded the world’s most successful and, known. Experiential concierge firms that would only accept millionaires and billionaires if you were bank, validated and proven. So I am responsible for sending people down to the Titanic civilians up into space drum lessons with Guns and Roses a guitar lessons with ZZ Top Walk on roles on major Hollywood movies. I was basically the Make-A-Wish foundation. So people with really big checkbooks and Forbes wrote an article on me calling me the real life wizard of Oz. You mentioned the book four years ago, I was in a bar it’s been known to happen. I met someone, we were swapping a few stories and it turned out they were the head of a major publishing company in New York.

[00:02:37] They asked me to write the book. They paid me well and I wrote it and I didn’t really expected to do what is done to my life, but, it turned it upside down. So now I coach and I train all over the planet.

[00:02:54] Lance Wantenaar: The other reason why I was really keen to get you on is you had a fascinating interview with JJ Abrams and anybody that’s not seen that.

[00:03:01] I can rewatch that so many times to pull out really interesting angles on it. And I really think you’ve got to get that into it out for a lot more people, because it is a phenomenal interview because it also leads into the book. there’s a couple of things which I’ve found fascinating. First of all, you seem to be very much about trying anything as many times as possible.

[00:03:24] Just testing, testing, testing, incessantly. Where does that come from?

[00:03:29] Steve Sims: I think it comes from ignorance. and I think ignorance has been my, my superpower and it’s actually my wife that called me ignorant. so you would normally think that this was a bad thing, but in the context is that I’m not frightened.

[00:03:44] You know, I’m curious. And when you’re, you don’t start by writing a business plan. You start by doing, you start by delving in, you start by discovering. And it was actually Jay, you know, cause Jay’s a friend of mine. I’ve known him for years. Jay actually said to me that I have a greater Ican can than an IQ.

[00:04:04] I would literally go, Hey, and this is a perfect example. I wonder if I should do a podcast. So that afternoon I bought a shitty mic. I subscribed to a shitty service and I did my first podcast. And guess what it was shitty, but every time we do anything, including you, the first time you did a podcast, the first podcast you did, you know, for while it was crap compared to the ones that you’re doing now, because we need, we can only get good once we get going.

[00:04:35] And it doesn’t matter. You can prepare a business plan, you can prepare a formula and still until you start actioning it and trying it, you don’t realize how wrong it is. And then you start tweaking and refining and perfecting. So I learned the miss out the middle of miss out the beginning shit start doing, get going then get good.

[00:04:58] It just made sense and understand t Is experience you gain experience from things going wrong. That educate you to do things that go wrong to do things that go right. Why would you not want to get education on anything? Why would you not want to try things? Why would you not rejoice when you failed at something?

[00:05:18] Because there’s those failures that gives you your greatest strength, education, and growth. So that’s, that’s my attitude.

[00:05:26] Lance Wantenaar: And that’s a really late lesson, which I realized, or at least finding out quite late on. my biggest challenge was that I tend to be over analytical It’s my job.

[00:05:36] That’s what I do on a day-to-day basis. And I got really quite frustrated because I was making same stupid mistakes. So there’s the reason why I got involved in the psychology side of things, because I wanted to learn how people think. This led me to some of the topics that you were talking about, how people see failures, fatal it’s not failure is just the process of learning.

[00:05:55] it’s a way that you learn. It’s a way that you develop a process, a skill or anything else of that nature. If you look at anything. That’s developed as a skill, whether you’re playing piano, where you’re riding a motorbike, because you’re a big fan of motorbikes.

[00:06:07] Steve Sims: I am

[00:06:07] Lance Wantenaar: And you know, when you start off you first, you are literally crapping yourself.

[00:06:12] When you’re on a motorbike. When the first time you’re riding it, when you go in the round the corner, but as you start developing skill and feedback and response, you using all of the principles of learning, which is where you make mistakes, you correct them. And it’s the ability of being able to correct things and change and adapt and being willing to learn.

[00:06:29] Is what is the biggest benefit? it gives you the growth and also nobody grows from staying the same. Nobody grows from staying stagnant and being in the same position. You only grow when you travel or learn or develop or do something different because that’s where skill goes. Skill is always on the edge , skill is always on the edge.

[00:06:49] Steve Sims: I can give you a slight reframe to that, that will give you an exact example. When I was a brick layer. I remember you mentioned the motorbikes. I’ve been on motorbikes since the age of 15, still on motorbikes. Now don’t own a car, never wanted. and I remember when I was a brick layer and I was poor I was in a pub and I could afford two beers.

[00:07:07] And I looked around and my buddies, that were also bikers and I realized they could afford two beers and everyone in that bar could afford two beers. And I realized that I was in a room full of broke people I had to change the room because by being in that room, I was broke. So that was one of the things that propelled me to try and find out what are successful people doing now in the early stages, I wanted to find out what were rich people doing.

[00:07:35] I realized that being rich is a by-product of being successful, being successful. You’ve got to have a successful mindset. Okay. So I went out and tried to find out that first, throughout the years I changed my question from, Hey, how are you rich? And I’m not too. What makes you different? How do you look at this?

[00:07:55] Why are you successful? What do you think you can attribute it to? I used my concierge firm as a Trojan horse to interview the most powerful people, not for a podcast for my growth. And then I transfer that into the book, but I did it for my benefit, purely selfish. I remember a time. A picture that will sum this up accurately.

[00:08:22] I was in space X with Elon Musk and it was at the time when he was using the reusable fuel cells to land on the floating pad out in the ocean. And you probably remember that. Do you remember seeing the, a fuel cells coming down? They would land topple over and then they would. Yeah. You remember saying, and you probably saw it half a dozen times on the news.

[00:08:47] When was the last time you saw it?

[00:08:49] Lance Wantenaar: Well, that was going to be a while ago,

[00:08:52] Steve Sims: but he comes, he lands his lockets a lot. Now, the reason you don’t see it. Is because it works now. Yeah. There’s no interest. Hey, when it falls over and blows up and it’s a hundred million dollars gone up in smoke. Hey, that’s news. But when it lands and it works, that’s not news.

[00:09:09] Okay. I remember being in the room with him and all of his engineers. And when that thing landed and then toppled and blew up, they all did the exact same thing. They leant into the data. Now, there were a few people though, the back of the room with me, some of the spectators, they held their heads and they gasp and they went, oh my God, Oh know.

[00:09:34] But all the people in the room they leant in, they leant into a problem. They leant into a mistake. They leant into a failure because it was leaning in. That gave him the educational, what went wrong so they could remove it and it would go right next time. That was one of the biggest things I noticed about successful people.

[00:09:53] They lean into problems. Non-successful people lean back, hold their head, throw a pity party and cry

[00:10:00] Lance Wantenaar: yeah. And that’s also something I’m going to refer to motorbikes one, because I love watching MotoGP. And when you actually listened to the guys talking about riding motoGP , you always hear them and say, talking about feedback about leaning in the, by pushing hard against.

[00:10:17] And sometimes they say, oh yeah, I’m starting to lose control everything else. But still, if you take a look at what they riding, they still doing 200 miles an hour down the street leading into a corner at 160 miles an hour for, lap on that one lap going around a race course. And the end of it, they tires are up to shreds, but it’s not that they not leaning in.

[00:10:37] They’re still doing it, but it’s just. Their tolerance level is so fine that they know what point they can push and what point they can. They have to use too, but they will always keep on putting that pressure on because they know if they lean off, if they edge off the power, when they are there in a corner or coming out, if you take off power of the wrong time, you flipped the bike or you lose control and but it’s also that feedback that you.

[00:11:01] That’s part of the reason why you’re leaning in, because you need that response to be able to learn where you’re going to change things. And it’s the same thing. If you’ve doing training, if anything, if you’re doing, if you start backing off, the only reason why you back off is because you need to look at the information you need to reassess it, but then you’ve got to get back onto the horse and you gotta be willing to get hurt.

[00:11:21] And that’s, that’s a big challenge. So the other question that I’ve got is what people’s most concerns when it comes to. Doing something like, what is it, the fear that’s stopping them from taking that plunge from doing something like,

[00:11:35] Steve Sims: oh, that’s easy. especially today it’s humiliation. Humiliation is the number one reason why people don’t try things because they don’t want to be laughed at

[00:11:44] you see, we, as a society now, we love to build people up. And then we like to ridicule them. We like to laugh with them and we like to work out how imperfect they are. We like to draw attention to their weaknesses. People don’t want to do that. You see when people are trying things.

[00:12:00] And they are thinking to themselves and are sitting in that pub example I gave you and they’ve all their buddies around you and they go, Hey, I’m not happy with my life. I want to try this. I want to try that. Well, sadly, that’s surrounded by all of these people they’ll want to go, or that would never, you could never do that.

[00:12:17] You’re an idiot. And they ridiculed them to bring them back down to that level. You see, most people ridicule or laugh at you because they don’t want you to succeed. And a lot of people don’t want to be laughed at. So they don’t try because it’s safer not trying, isn’t it, you know, its safer not to be laughed at insightful on your bank balance, not to try this project.

[00:12:41] You see a lot of people go, Hey, no, no, no, I don’t want to do this because I want to fit in the first thing an entrepreneur needs to realize was you weren’t designed to, as an entrepreneur, you would design. To turn left when everyone was turning right to turn up the volume. When everyone was gone asleep, you were there to disrupt.

[00:13:01] Now, bearing in mind, Elon Musk built PayPal purely on the aggravation. He couldn’t understand why it took five days to transfer money from one US bank to another US bank. When it was quite simply a code swap. He couldn’t understand why it took five days and everyone knows it’s because the bank got to play with that money interest free for four days.

[00:13:26] So he invented PayPal. He killed his aggravation. So as entrepreneurs, stop listening to other people unless they are worth listening to, I will often go down to people like Roland Frazier, Jay Abraham, Daymond, John, these kind of people been going, Hey, I’m thinking of doing that. Now, when you’re talking to the right people that are not cheerleaders, you don’t need cheerleaders.

[00:13:50] You don’t need people going, oh, you can be great. You can be, go or gives a shit about that. That doesn’t do anything may make you feel a little bit good as you’re going out to the ring before you get your lights punched out, but it’s of no benefit, but you do need challenges. And you need challenges with credibility.

[00:14:09] You don’t need some arsehole in a pub, this never had money in his life. You don’t need that guy to be answering your questions or where to best invest your money. So when you go to business, try and find people that can challenge you. My people that I go to, they go, okay, Steve, you want to do this? Why now? why you and they challenge me.

[00:14:32] They refine what I’m trying to do. And the amount of times I’ve gone, Hey, I’m going to do this. And then during that challenging process, I’ve gone. Hang on a minute. That’s the wrong project to me. That’s going to take up so much time there. The results are going to be, but if I tweak it into this industry, I can treble the return.

[00:14:55] That’s where you only get there by being challenged on your concepts. And you need to get the right source to do that. And in a world full of fake gurus, don’t listen to the prick, leaning up against the car that he’s rented for that one day photo shoot, find people that know what they’re talking about, work with them to see how they can help challenge you to be better than you are

[00:15:18] Lance Wantenaar: how do you find people like that? Because there’s obviously a lot of people out there that are very willing to, rip you off and also take advantage of your inexperience

[00:15:28] Steve Sims: yeah, your vulnerability and your, your aggravation and your desire. people want you to turn up and go, Hey, I can help you just pay this invoice.

[00:15:36] Okay. And they go, great. I’m going to be good. Cause, look at him. He’s good looking. She’s good looking, I love that car. I love that picture of you vacationing in the Maldives yeah. I’ll sign up or ask questions and be prepared to put your coach on on stand, you say, Hey, I want to coach because I want to do this, but why are you the coach for me?

[00:16:01] Why do you believe you could do this to me? I am stunned at the amount of, influencers out there in the world today that have never actually achieved anything yet. they called influencers, you know, I’ve always laughed. I’ve always said shouldn’t an influencer. Have to have actually achieved something before they can be coated influencer.

[00:16:23] and, should have a coach actually have achieved something before they became a coach. And that’s, that’s a real challenging point, if you’re out there when you’re pissed off and you damn well should be, if you’re not, you wouldn’t be listening to this podcast, but if you want to get a bigger brand, better distribution, get a bit more tonality, better clarity on your message, identifying yourself any of these kinds of things that a coach should help you both in a life and business.

[00:16:53] Format. And as an entrepreneur, the life and business of an entrepreneur, they overlap all the time. Every time you should quiz and interview your coach, Hey, I’m demanded a better life for me. I just want to understand why you should be the person I should be talking to. And then look at the substance.

[00:17:12] Look at the credentials, look at the credibility. Have they ever done any of this before?like for argument sake I’m not going to employ you to be my coach on hair products. And you shouldn’t employ me as your coach on weight loss. You know, it just makes no sense, cause I don’t have any credibility in that marketplace.

[00:17:35] So you should challenge the people you’re with to make sure that they are the perfect person and dare to do it. And if they get a little bit squiffy, Oh, if all of a sudden you’re talking to one of the sales reps come, well, you don’t do this, but if you sign up for a $10 course, you’ll get no. I say to people, read my book, look me up on YouTube.

[00:17:58] Look me up on videos. If I resonate with you, let’s talk. And that’s the way I do it. And I think that’s why everyone should do it.

[00:18:07] Lance Wantenaar: You’ve highlighted a couple of really interesting aspects, a lot of really interesting areas. One of the key things I think is asking questions, but asking the right questions repeatedly, because this is where you’ve highlighted as well.

[00:18:19] Because when you start asking a question, why, and then why a person starts getting very squirrely. And that’s a really quick way of actually finding out how well versed the person is and their knowledge base about a situation, because it’s like listening to a kid when it comes walking in that says. Daddy. Why am I hungry?

[00:18:38] I said, because you’ve not eaten. Why? Because you’ve not eaten this because why? And then father’s like, go away, leave me alone, stop asking questions. But it’s that, simple question of just acting like a kid and why, how, what, and repeatedly asking the same question. Very very quickly. Unseats a person’s confidence in very shallow knowledge.

[00:19:04] When you have somebody that really knows their stuff, they will talk with knowledge. They will talk with passion. They’ll talk with, skill because they know which way to go to how to structure a conversation. I can talk to you about influencing and connecting with wealthy people. And I know you will tell me this is how you need to connect with them.

[00:19:24] This is how you should interact with them. This is how you can use simple personalization by writing a letter by sending a thank you note, by doing a couple of simple things or appealing to the emotional side and making sure that the experience is something is rich and worthwhile for them. You speak to me on cyber security and psychology.

[00:19:43] I can talk about all the things under the sun. I can tell you how to protect yourself how to spot social engineering attacks, how fraud works and all of these other aspects, because that’s what I do. It’s because the area that I live in, I know these things, I know it from top to bottom, I knew it from all kinds of aspects.

[00:20:00] And that’s the difference between somebody who have got a perception of their knowledge and somebody who really has a deep seated knowledge about it, because they’re very passionate about it and they can talk. To the ends of the earth on a topic. So

[00:20:11] Steve Sims: We’ve also had, COVID a lot of people, they haven’t had a job.

[00:20:15] So in which case, they’re looking at a way of doing it and they’ve been able to, design one online, a lot of coaches have appeared over the COVID period because they’ve got, oh, I can’t be that hard. I just have to talk to someone it’s become an easily adoptable. And I, I know, people that have actually been to a couple of like Tony Robbins seminars and all of a sudden, I’ll try to make out that I’m a coach.

[00:20:38] you can be a student and a coach, but not to that level, you know, to be a coach, you’ve got to have failed. You’ve got to have succeeded, but you’ve got to have failed more times then you’ve been successful and you’ve gotta be able to delve into that failure and to those dark moments, to identify where your client is, to help them know the best route to get out of that and to benefit from that failure, to give them the education.

[00:21:09] They need to create that confidence, that conviction and that credibility to whatever mission they’re going forward

[00:21:16] Lance Wantenaar: yeah, I can’t agree with you more this. So how would you go about for somebody to develop something, a coaching side of things if they starting out and they’re starting from scratch apart from the fact that I’ve got to go out and fail a lot

[00:21:29] what’s what’s going to be the best, options,

[00:21:31] Steve Sims: its very easy, coaching is very, very primitive and it’s very, very easy. What you got to do is you’ve got to benefit somebody in exchange for a credit card. You know, you’ve got to be a solution to that problem. I joked that you wouldn’t retain me to be your coach for weight loss or hair products, because it’s bloody obvious.

[00:21:54] I have no credibility in either of those. So you’ve got to be able to offer a solution. If I needed a coach on cyber security, then I could very easily retain you because you’ve got the credibility. So you got to ask yourself, what do you do? There’s somebody else can’t do. And they find someone with that problem.

[00:22:16] It could be fitness, it could be mindset. It could be relaxation. It could be any of these things, but the focus is what do you do that is easy for you to, you can solve someone else’s problem. That’s the primitive nature of what coaching is. It’s not aspirational. Hey, you could be great maybe you couldn’t, you know, I don’t want you to be great.

[00:22:40] I want you to be impactful and I want you to do so focus on what solution do you provide and then find the person that has that problem.

[00:22:49] Lance Wantenaar: It’s very true. And it’s also being able to cut through the noise, but the only way you can do that is presenting yourself in a way to do that, because the other challenge is that, as we’ve mentioned, there’s a lot of influencers out there who have never been able to, they’ve not been able to figure out what is influencing.

[00:23:05] They influencing based on perception and there’s a lot of them out there. So it’s a big challenge to get through the noise.

[00:23:13] And that is

[00:23:14] Steve Sims: the big challenge that’s where cloudy comes in. You see today there’s too much noise. today there’s too much distraction. There’s too much distortion. There’s too much anguish.

[00:23:24] There’s too much, intolerance that today for you to get your message out there, you need to be crystal clear. You need to have total clarity. You need to be totally transparent. You need to be impossible to misunderstand I don’t want to sit here and go, well, if we, you know, you look at the algorithms and you do this and you do that, I want to go, no, I keep you safe.

[00:23:48] When you’re on the internet, you need to be really simple and concise with what it is you do. So that the person that picks up on your message can’t misunderstand it. It’s impossible to misunderstand. So today look at yourself. Look at your social feeds, look at your website and ask yourself, am I confusing any of my prospects?

[00:24:14] Am I possibly not revealing the clarity of what I am the solution for? And I’ll give you another example. When you wake up at two o’clock in the morning and you’ve got a headache, you go to your bathroom cabinet and you grab your headache tablets out. When was the last time you looked at that? Box of a headache tablets.

[00:24:33] And he went, nah, I don’t like the logo. I want a different pack. You didn’t do it. Did ya? because headache, tablets serve a purpose they there to a solve a problem. Any branding, anything else is not required. These are headache tablets. They solve your headache. When you can be crystal clear with the solution that you provide.

[00:24:56] You don’t have to worry about any of the other fluff and in today’s noise, you stand out with that clarity.

[00:25:04] Lance Wantenaar: And that’s a big challenge is being able to be very, clear, but it takes quite a lot of self reflection. You’ve highlighted quite clearly that you have to be very clear that you’re not misunderstood.

[00:25:15] And how would you question that? How would you identify how to get that clarity?

[00:25:21] Steve Sims: Oh, again, easy, nothing. Here is hard. Find someone that you are kind of friendly with, not a close friend, maybe your cousin, maybe your auntie, and send her your website and say, do me a favor. Call me back in 10 minutes and tell me what it is I do and see if they can precisely tell you what it is.

[00:25:43] 10 minutes. Call me back. if you all on Facebook, And you’ve got a bunch of friends reach out on your Facebook and go, Hey, I need some help with me with doing a test DM me. If I could jump on the phone with you for five minutes. And then when they DM you go, Hey, this is my website. I want to call you in 10 minutes.

[00:26:04] And I want you to tell me what it is I do. Are you up for that? And if they go, yes, they go, great. You phone them up in 10 minutes and shut. After you’ve said, all right, tell me what is I do and see if they get it right? I will bank money on it. You’ll be confused and surprised by some of the answers.

[00:26:23] And here’s how one of them happens. Here’s a little test for you. Anyone listening to this on a large screen, this won’t work on an iPad. This won’t work on a phone. So on a desktop or laptop, open up. All of your primary social feeds, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, all your major social feeds First thing, look at the picture in LinkedIn. You’ve got a suit. In LinkedIn, you’ll look at or sharp and debonaire, you go over to Facebook and his girls gone wild. You’re sitting there in your little silly Bermuda shorts with your, mai tai in your hand, playing the man in the jacuzzi with a bunch of girlies. You know, you’ve got different pictures somewhere along the line.

[00:27:07] Someone told you that the picture you put on LinkedIn has to be different to the picture you use on Facebook and on Twitter and on instagram why a should be the same picture or a current picture. If you want to put a suit on LinkedIn, fine. I’m not going to be able to, win you over do your bloody suit, but if you’re going to put a picture on Facebook, make it impossible to misunderstand that it’s the same person.

[00:27:34] Okay. That’s the first thing. But then look at the bio you an author, coach cyber specialists here and over here, your father football player and a Moto GP fan. Well, those are two different bios. You may want to put a different picture on different social feeds. I’m going to tell you don’t but Hey, you ain’t going to listen to everything I say, but you don’t have a choice on the bio

[00:28:01] the bio needs to be the same on every acceptable platform and look at Nike, look at apple. Look at Ford, look at any major branded company and ask yourself, are they different on LinkedIn than they are on Instagram? And the answer is going to be no. So why do you think you need to be. Yeah, you got to focus on clarity, stop confusing your clients.

[00:28:26] Cause they’re confused. Prospect will never give you a credit card.

[00:28:30] Lance Wantenaar: If you had to dive into simple psychology, especially look at Robert Cialdini’s work. When he talks about persuasion, it comes down to basic things. It was making sure that there’s consistency across everything that’s been said.

[00:28:42] Because that consistency builds trust, but it also makes it easier to identify that it’s the same person that they’re dealing with. Because the other thing is when you have this inconsistency people saying, why is this person inconsistent? And there’s a certain amount of distrust that fires because people think this guy is not consistent across all of them.

[00:29:00] So, it makes people feel uneasy, especially when there’s inconsistency and information. People start feeling it as an emotional level and they feel on a physical level. So they start feeling in uneasy. And that’s something that what you just described solves that problem, because you’ve got a consistent message across all of them and people can look at it all and think, okay, it’s the same person I’m dealing with

[00:29:21] so I know that I’m dealing with the same person on all platforms and you get a consistent message across all of them. So in that aspect, it ties into the whole pattern recognition in the brain and how people see and perceive things. So it ties into, one of the last aspects, which is perception.

[00:29:37] You talk about other people’s perceptions about you and yourself. How do

[00:29:41] you,

[00:29:42] counter. People’s perceptions about you. .

[00:29:44] Steve Sims: Oh I don’t, I absolutely don’t, and I don’t care. You see, I run a media company and we teach you how to anti-brand. Okay. Because a lot of people, when they build up a website, they put a picture of, on of them, maybe a little bit slimmer, and they try to make the terminology and the copy sound a little bit more articulate to maybe words they would usually use.

[00:30:07] You’ve got to understand the branding. One I one is what people say about you when you’ve left. s all about. And I’ve got a website, I’ve got your social feeds. I’ve got a million ways that I can look at you before I ever interact with you. Now, if you can make sure that you are consistent on all of those, you take away the confusion.

[00:30:32] Now, all I’ve got to do is I’ve got to validate, am I a solution to you? can I help you based on what I do. Can I help you? Those are the only two things you see. Today’s thing. All anybody cares is, well, you got, can it help me? If I’m gonna buy a car, can this car help me? If I’m gonna buy a computer, can this computer help me?

[00:30:53] If I’m going to buy a suit, can that suit make me look better than the other suit? People are selfish and we should be, and I am not all asking how it benefits you. I don’t care how long you’ve been in business. I don’t care how many billions of dollars you made before you shat yourself this morning. I care about what you do can help me.

[00:31:13] And so what you’ve gotta do is you’ve got to make sure that the person is seeing. You can relate and acknowledge and understand you quickly that allows them to make a decision whether or not they want to engage in the next step, which is a conversation. See the worst people in the world. are not those that hate you.

[00:31:32] I guarantee you. And we spoke about this a little bit before we went online. I know for a fact, there are people out there that hate me. I would not be surprised if there have been people on this podcast that within the first couple of minutes of God, no, I’m just turned off. Okay. And I’m okay with that I’m not going to change myself to be anybody else. I’m not going to dilute myself. I’m not going to sell myself. But the most of the people that are still listening to this, maybe I’m making sense. Maybe I’m driving them to do something differently. Maybe I’m driving them uncomfortably to question how they brand themselves for those people.

[00:32:11] We’re now relating, but there’s nobody on this podcast. That’s sitting on the fence. So I don’t want anybody going. I’m not sure about this. Steve Sims. That’s the one thing you can never say about me. You can never be confused as to who I am. What I sound like, what I stand for, the kind of person I am. If you met me on stage, I would be this person.

[00:32:33] If you met me in a bar, I would be this person. If I was walking down the high street I’m being this person. That’s what you’ve got to focus on. You’ve also got to focus, not only on the clarity, but the location. This is a weird one to start talking about. My location is our timestamp today. If I had a conversation with you and we were walking down the beach in Bora Bora, and we both had a Corona in our hand and we’re chatting away.

[00:33:03] You’re going to be very easy for me to converse with we’re on the beach. It’s a calm environment. The sea’s coming in. Your family are in the distance. You in a good mood, you’re very receptive. So all of this createing a great mood for you

[00:33:20] Lance Wantenaar: Yeah.

[00:33:20] Steve Sims: But if I try and having a conversation with you in the middle of a nightclub at 12 o’clock at night, and I’m trying to talk business with you and you can’t hear me, and you can only hear every other word and people are bumping into you and spilling their beer on you.

[00:33:34] You’re now in an aggravated mood, I could be having exactly the same conversation. But only in one of those, you’re going to be receptive to what I’m saying. Cause the other one is buying too much for your attention or aggravating you. In other ways. Today were aggravated today we’re in that nightclub. Today is 12 o’clock at night.

[00:33:56] People are bumping you with COVID politics, conversations, Asian hate black lives matter. There’s a lot going on. In this year and we’re very aggravate and, uh, we have a low tolerance for bullshit. So not only do we need clarity, but we need to understand that that clarity means even more to me, crystal today, because you don’t have the person’s attention for long before they get pissed off and walk away

[00:34:26] Lance Wantenaar: yeah I think you’ve highlighted. One of the most valid points is because people are under such pressure under such stress, and they’ve got so much demand for the attention one. You have to be clear, but two, you also have to be understanding and have the right perception of context. Be able to get the message across at the right time.

[00:34:44] You’ve got to pay attention to the other thing. And this is probably the key thing. You got to be less about you, but more about the other person. You’ve got to pay attention to their needs, their wants their desires, what it is that they want, and can you help them. And also then getting to a point where you say, I can’t help you at this stage.

[00:35:02] I might know somebody that can help you, but I’m not the one for you. And that’s sometimes I think the most difficult thing to say to somebody I can’t help you because people naturally tend to be helpful.

[00:35:15] Steve Sims: Yeah, no, you’re right. You’ve got to be. They want to be helpful, but then not if that trying to take on something that they can’t do, or they’re going to, you know, put the client in a different situation or different environment, or even in the wrong environment, you know, you may be trying to help someone, but sometimes there’s that time when you got to turn around and go, do you know, I can’t help you.

[00:35:38] You’re doing someone a greater service by understanding what you can’t do and trying to do something inadequate to be done.

[00:35:46] Lance Wantenaar: Yeah, and I think that’s a really good lesson to take away because sometimes you can also end up spending so much time trying to help somebody in an area, which you’re not really skilled enough to do that.

[00:35:58] You can actually cause more harm to relationship than do good. And it also comes down to a bit of ego is making sure that you’re not feeding your own ego and just taking it on the chin and just learning from it which is sometimes a bit of a challenge to try and get over your own ego, because that does seem to cause some problems sometimes.

[00:36:17] So, definitely. Steve, I really appreciate your time and it was a fantastic conversation. I really thank you for taking the time to speaking with me. how can people get hold of you and, tell us a bit more about what’s on your plate at the moment.

[00:36:32] Steve Sims: well, there’s no pitch here. Just dive over to Steve D sims.com, D for Dash-In or David or whatever you want to talk about with us.

[00:36:41] Steve D Sims, there’s only one M in Sims on Steve D sims.com. You can actually see the interview that you mentioned with me and my boy. Jay Abraham, but you can also find me on Instagram and Steve D sims.com or I’m at an entrepreneur’s advantage with Steve Sims on Facebook. That’s my private Facebook group.

[00:37:00] So I’m easy to find

[00:37:03] I’ll share all of that in the, bio notes and everything else. And the other thing that I would suggest people do is get at least the abbreviated version of your blue fishing playbook, because. It’s got some really fascinating rules. And if you want to just sit and read through that a number of times as well with that, there’s a lot of complexity and it might sound like really simple grandmother advice that tells you, just do this, do this, do that.

[00:37:28] But if you scratch under the surface, there’s a massive really Subtle hints in there on how to, get your, your backside into gear and to get some results. So I think everybody should definitely have a read of that. So once again, thanks all for your book and I wish you all the best for

[00:37:44] that.

[00:37:45] Thanks, bye. Cheers.